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Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Nor is an empire.

Be patient, my dear.

I’m at the age where many of my friends are getting married and for the ladies, it seems all that’s on their mind is getting married, boys and becoming a wife.

And then I realised I don’t want to only be a wife.

I want to build my empire.

And I need a king with the same mindset.

We ain’t your average couple.

-b.

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Officially burnt out.

A rollercoaster two weeks of emotional highs and lows from all fronts – family, personal, work and health, have gotten the better of me.

And now, we pick up the pieces and re-build.

Looking back, there were times when I wanted to throw in the towel; hitting rock bottom with no light for guidance. All I had was this voice telling me “Just give it one more day”. And each tomorrow became one more day.

So let’s take it one more day at a time.

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For the longest time, I had the answer to what I wanted to do.
The original plan was to understand the industry of employment, how rapid and extensive outsourcing and automation would replace jobs, the types of jobs they would replace and how to rebuild the education system to address the changing nature of employment for future generations.

It wasn’t until someone asked me how I envisioned my life at 40 did I realize the only driving force I had in my life was my career.

Growing up poor with no parental support allowed me to have a sharp focus on career and obtaining wealth quickly – tuition, first property, basic living necessities, travel and luxuries.
But now, as I become more stable financially and career-wise, I realized I have neglected the other portions of my life, including my health and interpersonal relationships.

“Am I happy?”.

There is no simple answer.

“Am I free?”

No.

So let’s find freedom.

-b.

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Somewhere out there
Beneath the pale moonlight
Someone’s thinking of me
And loving me tonight

Somewhere out there
Someone’s saying a prayer
That we’ll find one another
In that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we’re sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there
If love can see us through
Then we’ll be together
Somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

-b.

Cloud Atlas

Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others, past and present. And by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future. Sonmi-451:Cloud Atlas

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Last night, I took a friend to a speakeasy, a getaway of sorts.

Not many people know about my past, and those who do, only know tidbits.

It’s not the immediate past I am concerned about.

Every person has their own belief system. Some call it religion, others call it a soul.

Do you believe in karma?

I do.

The first time I watched Cloud Atlas, I was fascinated with the storyline, how, through the actions of the characters, the decisions they made in every lifetime, shaped their next life.

To me, it was a masterpiece. Critics dubbed it an impossible to film book. But they did it anyways. Some criticized the film as “yellow-facing”, making Caucasians look Asian so they don’t have to hire Asians. But what they missed was that, the characters spanned through ages, genders and race. What they missed was that the Asian actresses were also made to look like other races in the different timelines.

Karma does not discriminate.

There are moments of redemption, just as there are moments of deterioration.

And that’s what the book and film tries to illustrate.

We move through our lifetimes. Each time, we are dealt a different hand. How we choose to live our lives determines the next hand. And with every hand, do we choose to be a better self or do we choose to live a life of pure consumption and excess?

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People ask me why certain things only seem to happen to me or why I seem to attract an alarming amount of bad luck.

I joke, saying in my past life, I must’ve done some pretty bad deeds.

On the other hand, I would love to know who or what I was in a previous life.

-b.