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Lately, the thought of motivation has been on my mind.

On the topic of New Year Resolutions, how many people actually stick by their goals?

They say it takes 21 days to stick by a habit.

If that’s the universal truth, how come people give up upon the second and third month?

And for those who keep the habit, what motivates them?

What I realized is that we place too much emphasis on the end result, especially when our creativity is involved.

Is it because we overvalue our own creation?
Is it because we expect others to adopt the same value?

When our innovation and heart is poured into something, it’s hard not to have expectations.

And would that misalignment of expectation be the cause of de-motivation?

We often share our goals and resolutions to our peers.

Is it to hold ourselves accountable?
Or is it to seek recognition?

-b.

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Funny how the world works.

There will always be those who will have unreasonably high expectations of you.

There will always be those who are unwilling to acknowledge you.

And yet the world knows exactly what to give me at the right moment.

Thank you for making me laugh.

-b.

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Back in the day, I opened a blog on Xanga to document my weight loss progress.

Little did I know, I slowly grew a following of a few hundred girls and a handful of boys. When one of my followers reached out to me about her own insecurities regarding her physical appearance, it hit me hard.

When I was a kid, I was dubbed the ugliest girl in school.
I was short.
I was overweight.
I wore thick nerd glasses.
I had pimples all over my face.
I had slits for eyes because my face was so fat.
I had greasy hair that looked unwashed for days.
I had to wear hand-me-downs that were so worn because I was poor.

I remember the pain.
I remember the tears.
I remember the darkness.
I remember the loneliness.

And I don’t want another person to feel that same way I did.

Instead of merely documenting my daily food intake and exercise regime, I decided to use the platform to share my own insecurities so that other girls could relate and feel that they weren’t fighting the battle alone.

Because everyone deserves to feel beautiful.
Because everyone has good and bad days.

Because no one deserves to go through this alone.

-b.

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On the notion of happiness, what does it mean to you?

As we close off 2017, I find myself taking steps back to reflect on the decisions I’ve made in the last year and how I can make 2018 better.

This year has definitely been one of the most rewarding yet challenging years of my life.

Career-wise, this has definitely been a year where I am proud to say I have finally accomplished all the milestones and goals I have set for myself. And it has given me a new direction of where I want to take my career next year. Being connected with students on a more personal level, understanding their insecurities about the job market has allowed me to share some of my own experiences from my youth to quell some of their fears.

It also took me back to when I first arrived to Hong Kong with nothing more than two suitcases and a backpack.

Conformity.

Two years.

This year, I took a major step back and took a close look at the sacrifices I’ve made and the person I became. I realized I did not like my reflection in the mirror. In the name of conformity, I lost my sense of self.

Silver linings.

Self-growth and reflection is difficult and painful to say the least.

But it also opens closed doors.

I left an unhealthy relationship but I learned self love.
I lost acquaintances but I gained close friends.

In the latter part of the year, I’ve learned to step away from being a perfectionist, alleviating that unnecessary stress to be 100% one-hundred-percent of the time.

And now we focus on well-being, mindfulness and inner peace.

That’s all for now.

-b.

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Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Nor is an empire.

Be patient, my dear.

I’m at the age where many of my friends are getting married and for the ladies, it seems all that’s on their mind is getting married, boys and becoming a wife.

And then I realised I don’t want to only be a wife.

I want to build my empire.

And I need a king with the same mindset.

We ain’t your average couple.

-b.

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Somewhere out there
Beneath the pale moonlight
Someone’s thinking of me
And loving me tonight

Somewhere out there
Someone’s saying a prayer
That we’ll find one another
In that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we’re sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there
If love can see us through
Then we’ll be together
Somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

-b.