182

Was cleaning up my Facebook when I came across this photo.

It’s funny how things turned out.

I remember having that smug look on my face when you told me you couldn’t find Daiso and I dragged you to Living Plaza to prove it was a legit Daiso. And then you had to carry boxes for me so I could pack and move. Now I remember why you knew my address!

Back in the day, I didn’t know. Had I known, would things have changed for the better or worse?

Back in the day, we had less and it was okay.

Less stress.

Less responsibility.

Less outside considerations.

It was simpler back then wasn’t it?

November 18, 2014.

-b.

Advertisements

184


When I was 19, I had my quarter life crisis. I realized I hated trading and I was entering my second year of business school geared towards churning out traders and investment bankers. I couldn’t switch out of my program without restarting from ground zero. 

Now at the age of 28, I am having my mid-life crisis. 

I really need to stop being beyond my age. This is getting ridiculous.

-b.

193

img_8806

Officially burnt out.

A rollercoaster two weeks of emotional highs and lows from all fronts – family, personal, work and health, have gotten the better of me.

And now, we pick up the pieces and re-build.

Looking back, there were times when I wanted to throw in the towel; hitting rock bottom with no light for guidance. All I had was this voice telling me “Just give it one more day”. And each tomorrow became one more day.

So let’s take it one more day at a time.

img_8745

For the longest time, I had the answer to what I wanted to do.
The original plan was to understand the industry of employment, how rapid and extensive outsourcing and automation would replace jobs, the types of jobs they would replace and how to rebuild the education system to address the changing nature of employment for future generations.

It wasn’t until someone asked me how I envisioned my life at 40 did I realize the only driving force I had in my life was my career.

Growing up poor with no parental support allowed me to have a sharp focus on career and obtaining wealth quickly – tuition, first property, basic living necessities, travel and luxuries.
But now, as I become more stable financially and career-wise, I realized I have neglected the other portions of my life, including my health and interpersonal relationships.

“Am I happy?”.

There is no simple answer.

“Am I free?”

No.

So let’s find freedom.

-b.

211

 

img_7833

Not even sure how this happened.

No matter how hard I push you away.
No matter how much I yell and scream.
No matter how many flaws I show you.
No matter what I throw at you.

You are still here.

Why?

We live on different planets whose orbits don’t intersect.

My planet has extreme weather conditions and dangerous animals.

Your planet is filled with rainbows, unicorns and flowers.

Why would you ever want to visit mine?

-b.

 

214

 

Somewhere out there
Beneath the pale moonlight
Someone’s thinking of me
And loving me tonight

Somewhere out there
Someone’s saying a prayer
That we’ll find one another
In that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we’re sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there
If love can see us through
Then we’ll be together
Somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

-b.

217


That was my face throughout my acupuncture session this afternoon to the amusement of my Chinese Doctor.

In the past month, I’ve been having severe cramps, water retention and looking paler than usual. It got to the point where I was forced to see a Chinese Doctor after my coworkers saw me curled up at my desk today.

What ensued was an hour of pure hilarity for my Chinese Doctor as she had to listen to my broken Cantonese when I described my symptoms.

On the topic of my diet, she flipped through my Instagram because my Cantonese was pretty much non-existent for vegetable vocabulary. Bemused, she chuckled and cooed me into submission.

And then came the flood of needles all over my abdomen. Whilst she poked and prodded, she chuckled at my face winced in pain, all the while screaming “I am okay”.

Well, at least we know my superpower is making people laugh at the most mundane of situations.

-b.